A recent InvestmentNews article by Gregg Greenberg raised an important estate planning question: When should family members not serve as estate executors? The article notes that while many people instinctively name a spouse, adult child, sibling, or close relative, that choice is not always the best fit when family dynamics, complex assets, or emotional pressure are involved.
From the perspective of a Michigan estate planning attorney, this is a conversation more families should have before a crisis occurs.
In Michigan, the person many people casually call an “executor” is generally referred to as a personal representative. A personal representative is responsible for helping settle and distribute the estate. This can include identifying assets, working with the probate court, communicating with interested persons, paying valid debts and expenses, and distributing property in accordance with the will or Michigan law.
Michigan law generally expects a personal representative to settle and distribute the estate expeditiously and efficiently while acting in the best interests of the estate. That makes the role much more than an honorary title.
Why This Decision Matters In Michigan Estate Planning
Many people choose the oldest child, the most available child, or the relative who “seems responsible.” Sometimes that works well. But estate administration can involve more than gathering bank statements and signing forms.
A Michigan personal representative may need to:
-Identify and protect estate assets
-Communicate with heirs and beneficiaries
-Work with attorneys, accountants, financial advisors, and the probate court
-Pay valid debts, expenses, and taxes
-Handle real estate, business interests, vehicles, farm property, or personal belongings
-Keep accurate records
-Make decisions during a deeply emotional time
Michigan also allows relatively unsupervised estate administration in many cases. That means a personal representative may be able to act without constant court oversight unless supervised administration is requested or required. This makes the choice even more important because the person serving may have significant practical authority during the administration process.
When the chosen person is organized, calm, fair-minded, and able to communicate clearly, the process may be much smoother. When the wrong person is chosen, the estate administration process can become more stressful, expensive, and emotionally damaging.
Birth Order Is Not An Estate Plan
One of the most common mistakes families make is assuming the oldest child should automatically be named.
That may feel respectful, but it is not always practical.
The oldest child may live out of state. They may have a tense relationship with siblings. They may be grieving heavily. They may be uncomfortable managing finances. They may be disorganized, overwhelmed, or too emotionally involved to make difficult decisions.
The better question is not, “Who deserves to be named?”
The better question is, “Who can actually do the job?”
A personal representative should generally be someone who has good judgment, emotional steadiness, attention to detail, and the ability to work with professionals. They should also understand that they may become the person family members contact when they are frustrated, confused, disappointed, or unhappy with the outcome.
What Happens If There Is No Clear Choice?
If a person dies without a will, or if the will does not validly nominate someone to serve, Michigan law provides a priority order for who may be appointed. The probate court does not simply choose someone at random.
In many cases, priority may involve a surviving spouse, heirs, devisees, or other interested persons. However, legal priority does not always mean practical suitability. A person may have priority under the law but still be a poor fit because of family conflict, lack of time, distance, financial concerns, or lack of experience.
This is one reason a carefully drafted estate plan can be so valuable. It allows the person creating the plan to make a thoughtful nomination instead of leaving the decision to default rules or family disagreement.
When A Family Member May Not Be The Best Choice
There are several situations where naming a family member as a personal representative may create more problems than it solves.
1. There Is Existing Family Conflict
If siblings already do not trust each other, naming one sibling over the others may intensify the conflict. Even if the chosen person acts properly, other beneficiaries may question every decision.
In these cases, a neutral third party may help reduce the perception of favoritism.
2. The Estate Includes A Family Business
Michigan families with closely held businesses, farms, rental properties, or commercial real estate may need more than a well-meaning relative. Business valuation, succession planning, buy-sell terms, debts, tax considerations, and management issues can complicate estate administration.
A personal representative who lacks business experience may struggle with these responsibilities.
3. There Is A Blended Family
Second marriages, stepchildren, children from prior relationships, and surviving spouses can create sensitive estate planning issues. Even when everyone has good intentions, questions of fairness and entitlement may arise quickly.
A neutral personal representative may help keep the process focused on the estate plan rather than family history.
4. Assets Are Illiquid Or Difficult To Divide
Some assets are not easy to split. A lake house, family cottage, farm, business, rental property, vehicle collection, jewelry, or sentimental personal property may create more emotional conflict than cash.
Families often disagree not only about value, but about meaning. A personal representative must be able to manage those conversations carefully.
5. The Named Person Does Not Have Time
Serving as a personal representative can take months or longer. Many estates take at least several months, and some commonly take 6 to 12 months or more, depending on creditor periods, taxes, property sales, beneficiary issues, and overall complexity.
If the person has a demanding job, young children, health issues, or lives far away, they may not be able to handle the role effectively.
A person can be trustworthy and still be the wrong fit.
Practical Issues To Consider Before Naming A Personal Representative
In addition to trust and family dynamics, Michigan families should think about practical administration issues.
Bond Requirements
A personal representative may need to post a bond unless the will waives bond or the court determines otherwise. This can matter if the person being considered may have financial limitations, credit issues, or difficulty qualifying.
A well-drafted estate plan can address whether a bond should be waived, although the court may still have authority in certain circumstances.
Out-Of-State Personal Representatives
A non-Michigan resident may be able to serve as a personal representative, but distance can create practical challenges. There may also be additional requirements, such as appointing a resident agent.
For some families, an out-of-state child may still be the best person. For others, local access to property, records, banks, courts, and professionals may make a Michigan-based personal representative more practical.
Compensation
A personal representative is generally entitled to reasonable compensation. This can be important when deciding between a family member and a professional.
Some family members choose not to take compensation. Others may need to be compensated because the role requires significant time and effort. A professional fiduciary, attorney, or corporate representative will typically charge for services, but that cost may be worthwhile if it reduces conflict, improves recordkeeping, and helps move the estate forward.
A Simple Michigan Example
Imagine a Michigan estate that includes a rental property portfolio and three siblings who do not get along.
If one sibling is named personal representative, the others may question every decision:
-Was the property priced correctly?
-Was the sale delayed?
-Were repairs necessary?
-Was one beneficiary favored?
-Were distributions handled fairly?
Even if the sibling serving as personal representative does everything properly, the lack of trust may create ongoing disputes.
In that type of situation, naming a neutral personal representative, such as an attorney, corporate fiduciary, or other qualified third party, may help. A neutral representative can follow the will, document decisions, communicate professionally, and reduce accusations of favoritism. Although there may be a cost, that cost may be less than the legal fees and family damage caused by prolonged conflict.
Should You Consider A Professional Or Third-Party Personal Representative?
In some Michigan estate plans, it may make sense to consider a professional fiduciary, corporate trustee, attorney, trust company, or other neutral third party. This can be especially helpful where neutrality, experience, and recordkeeping matter more than familiarity.
A professional may be worth considering when:
-The estate is large or complex
-There is likely to be family disagreement
-The estate includes business interests or real estate
-The beneficiaries do not communicate well
-There are concerns about financial responsibility
-The named person would be placed in an unfair emotional position
-The estate requires detailed accounting, valuation, or asset management
This does not mean every estate needs a professional personal representative. Professional fiduciaries can add cost, and some families function very well with a trusted relative. But for certain families, the cost of neutrality may be far less than the cost of conflict.
Talk To The Person Before Naming Them
Another important point from the source article is that no one should be surprised by being named to this role.
Before naming a personal representative in your Michigan estate plan, consider having a direct conversation with that person. They should understand the responsibility, the time commitment, the possibility of family tension, the potential for compensation, and the importance of working with legal and financial professionals.
This conversation can also reveal whether the person is willing, available, and emotionally prepared.
The Bottom Line For Michigan Families
Choosing a personal representative is one of the most important decisions in an estate plan. It should not be based solely on tradition, guilt, birth order, or fear of hurting someone’s feelings.
A good estate plan should not only transfer assets. It should reduce confusion, preserve family relationships where possible, and give the right people the authority to carry out your wishes.
For Michigan families, especially those with businesses, real estate, blended families, farms, rental properties, or complex family dynamics, the question is not simply who you trust.
The real question is: Who is best equipped to carry out the plan when emotions are high and the details matter?
If you are creating or updating an estate plan in Michigan, John Dresser, Esq., can help you think through these decisions carefully and choose a structure that fits your family, your assets, and your goals.
To discuss your Michigan estate planning options, call John Dresser, Esq. at (269) 689-8527.